Thursday, July 16, 2015

Marriage Advice


My advice to you:

Compromise is a good word...and sacrifice. It's about putting our spouse's needs before ours sometimes. Financial speaking, have joint everything. There is just something about having "my account and your account" that doesn't follow the 'two shall become one' philosophy. And of course, a sense of humor will carry you a long way. Be able to laugh at yourself. There will be many times when all you can do is laugh together. Find a counselor at the very beginning for when the storm comes. It's not IF it comes, it's WHEN it comes. Align yourself with another couple for accountability purposes. Choose someone whose marriage is one that you respect. There may be times when you want to give up. FIGHT for your marriage. The odds are against you.

 (Married 19 years on July 27th, 2016)


This is what others would like you to know:


At first love is all about feelings and romance, but the true meaning of love is choices and action. Choose to love and serve your spouse well, even when you're mad or feel they don't deserve it. Married 17 years
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It's ok to agree to disagree. Always show respect for the other persons thoughts, ideas and feelings. Married 17 years
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As a wife, do not bombard your husband with issues of the day when he gets home. Greet him with a smile and a kiss...issues can be discussed a little later. Might sound old fashioned but it works wonders. ...I meant more about what the kids did wrong, what house part needs repair, that sort of thing. ..NOT the girly drama...no man ever really wants to hear that! All though my husband will listen and that is why I love him so much! He has made ME more important than himself and I strive to do the same
married 31 years
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No secrets....Trust each other.
Married 20 years
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Keep God in the triangle. Keep a sense of humor. Laugh with each other not at each other. Laugh at the small stuff. Married 16 years
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Marry your friend. Remember that "venting" does not mean they are yelling at you or mad at you! Be patient. The reason they are upset will reveal itself in due time and you will avoid it becoming personal between you. Do the Love Dare book before the honeymoon is over! 
 Married 24 and a half years
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A closed mouth gathers no feet

The best premarital counsel we got was: 1) Keep God first in your marriage! 2) Look out for your spouse's best interest! 3) Keep things spiced up in a godly manner-have heard that from several Women of faith events and other godly Christian women.  All the other advice from others above is awesome too. Want to add when the going gets tough Love, love, love through those difficulties. There is a book I'd highly recommend for women called Intimate Issues: Conversations woman to woman by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus. It gives Scripturally based wisdom offering real hope that every woman's marriage relationship can become all it was intended to be in God's design. Married 22 years
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It's all about compromise.  Love reading advice. Sometimes we should listen to one another.
Married 5 years
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Do not let the sun go down on your anger! Work it out before you go to bed because it's not worth it to lose the night's sleep (and let the devil gain a foothold)

Don't ever compare yourself to other couples. Every couple have their own ebb and flow, despite what their marriage looks like on the outside.

Ebb and flow (also called ebb and flood and flood drain) is the movement of water, often in relation to natural tides. The term is also commonly used metaphorically

Don't try to change a person.
Married 18 years.
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The minute you say "I do," Satan will be determined to show you why you should have said," I don't." And he will be right--but Love pays.  (See Jesus on the cross.) If you are prepared for that and consider the other person your limb (broken or numb or diseased), God will help you through the bad times.. (b) If you expect fairness and equality, you will be disappointed. (See Jesus on the cross.) Hang in there long enough and you'll see all seasons.  (c) Married or not, pride (in its many disguises) has separated me from God and all the people I love.  From what I'm reading about Jesus during this very Holy Week, neither God the Father nor God the Son nor God the Holy Spirit has ever devoted much energy to saving his own dignity. Fight your own battle against your own pride and conversation will thrive as well as intimacy. (Do not confuse the pleasure you rightfully feel in pleasing others and doing fine work with pride.  By pride I mean the subtle--"standards," "my way" etc.) These ideas apply to both parties.
Married twice
second marriage 13 years
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Communicate. Take turns talking. Use a timer to limit the time. Use "I" statements. For example, I was angry when you didn't call. Instead of YOU didn't call! 

Married 6 years then divorced

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Do not settle for less than God has intended for your life. Listen to that little voice, it is Him speaking to you. God's timing is perfect and divine. His plan is what will be fulfilled for your life. If you are patient and listening, it will bring you joy beyond what you could ever imagine. Once you are at peace with your decision to marry the one God has chosen for you, my advice is to cherish every moment. Cherish all the things that drive you crazy because those are the things you would miss if he were gone. Cherish all the little imperfections (and even the huge ones) because they are what makes him the perfect one for you. Say what's on your heart but make sure it is coming from a place of love and not anywhere else. There is only room for love in your marriage and later with your children. Everything else is not from God and therefore not loving. If you do these things, you will be an amazing example of love, joy and kindness not only to your husband and children but to all those you each come in contact with. Your legacy of love will grow and spread long after you are gone. And that is why God put you on this Earth. Now go and live the life God intended for you without fear or apprehension. He is with you always.
Married twice
second marriage 6 years

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It's a job. You have to work everyday. You don't get a day off. Work things out before the sun goes down.
Married 45 years

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1. God (Christ is the center)

2. Respect (Kindness matter. Watch your words).

3. Never stop dating. (If you can't find a sitter, take the kids along).

You start out as a couple. You end up as a couple. Take care of each other and your children will be fine. The children learn more from how you treat each other than by what you say. I heard a Pastor say, you will fall in love many times with the same person.

Married 54 years

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