On Tuesday, I had a minor procedure performed on the back of my right leg. I didn't tell anyone I was going to have it removed that day. I did tell a few people once I found out the spot was "questionable". But I didn't send out a prayer chain email or post it on Facebook. I knew my God had this. I was at peace with it. He was in control.
I have turned over my health to God.
So why is it so difficult to do that with Amanda?
Isn't she just beautiful? She is that beautiful on the inside too. I love her so!
I had a meeting scheduled for Thursday morning. So what did I do Wednesday night? Lay in bed and try to pray but the anxiety would not allow it. Do you know that it is impossible to pray and worry at the same time? Try it. You can't get past the anxiety to reach the peace. You can't.
I woke after just a few not so restful hours of sleep. I snapped at my man. I cried on my friends shoulder. I couldn't even think about food.
After she prayed for me (the friend with the tear-stained shoulder) and filled my ears, mind and heart with wisdom, I got in my car and this song was playing in my car.
The scripture mentioned on the show I watch while feeding little R was:
"Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33
Yes. Of course.
My verse since she was in 7th grade has been Deuteronomy 31:8. I went to the Bible to read it. That's when I noticed verse 6:
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
So why is it so hard for me to do this?
I give great advice. You tell me your problem and I will have wisdom for you. But taking our own advice is soooo hard.
I just needed to trust God. I believe Lord. But help my unbelief. Help me to give up the control. I love her so but I know that you love her more.
I think that since the 7th grade incident, I am just on guard. I hope for the best but expect the worst. I come prepared with fighting words. Angry words. Unkind words. Nothing that would point people back to You.
And the outcome of the meeting? AWESOME.
Now that Amanda is in high school, she attends the meetings. She told everyone (there were five of us) what she is doing or not doing. She let them know her thoughts and feelings. Suggestions of improving what she is currently doing were made. And updates to the 504 Plan were made as well.
What is a 504 Plan? In a word....accommodations.
Assessment of Special Needs: Amanda has difficulty focusing and retaining information
- preferential seating closest to the area of instruction
- provide 2nd set of text books to be kept at home, if available.
- teacher should use verbal and no-verbal reminders for Amanda to stay on task
- Amanda will utilize a universal folder for loose papers. parents will help Amanda organize material at the end of each day.
- Parents will monitor Home Access
- If teacher does not post grades and assignments on Home Access of individual site - parents can request weekly email update of assignments and grades
- Amanda will review Homework and notes every day in preparing for upcoming text/quizzes
- If teachers do not post grades on Home access teacher will notify parents if Amanda's grade falls below a 69%
- Extended time for classroom texts/quizzes at Amanda's request. Make up time to be coordinated with the teacher.
- Allow Amanda time to go to her locker for completed work she may have left in her locker.
Amanda will keep a planner - keeping track of all homework/texts/quizzes/projects.
Then during the meeting we added to that. Amanda will have the teacher initial the planner.
The calculator for all subjects and no unannounced quizzes were vetoed. I will continue to push for the NO POP QUIZES request.
So, to sum this up. It's March 16th and we are finally getting on track. This is our normal M.O. I think Amanda would be one of those children that excelled in twelve month programs. By the time we just get it, it's June!
This will be in place by next week. And we will be well equipped for 10th grade. Ha ha.
Every day is a struggle. But if I just keep focused on the fact that I have been chosen to parent this awesome young lady. If I can just keep focused on the fact that God loves me. And loves her. If I can just keep focused on...oh, funny. Focus is our issue isn't it?
What was I saying?