The statistics say that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. You've heard that. I've heard that. In the book it was said differently. It was said "one in every two marriages end in divorce". WOW, what an impact that has had in my mind!
These are the parts that I really liked and wanted to share with you because I've been here.
Making Your Marriage Last - Chapter Eleven
At the beginning of my marriage, I was constantly frustrated by my husband's inability to meet my needs. I criticized him for not making me feel loved, wanted, and needed. I thought the problem was with him, and I was diligent in my high and might prayer sessions instructing God how He needed to fix this man of mine. Then one day God broke through my self-centered attitude and pierced my heart with a significant, life-changing truth: God never intended my husband to meet all my needs.
For my husband to even try this impossible task would be dishonoring to God. Oh God does require my husband to love, honor, respect, and take care of me, but never does God's Word say a man should meet his wife's every need.
Instead, God has place within all of us a void only He can satisfy. When I finally understood what it meant to pursue my own intimate relationship with the Lover of my soul, my relationship with my husband changed. I started to pray that God would change me. I took my focus off what I felt were my husband's weaknesses and inadequacies and started to focus on submitting to God's call for my life. The more time I spent seeking Jesus and allowing Him to fill me with His incredible love, the more I was transformed into the wife my husband needed and deserved.
We should try to be the best wives we can to our husbands because that honors God. However, our husbands also have needs that only God can meet. If your husband has made mistakes and has sought to have his needs met outside of your marriage and His relationship with God, he will need to answer to God. I would encourage you to pray for him and to ask God to direct your path.
I know that was long but I wanted to share that with you because I could have written that myself. I have been there. Not just one. Not just twice. Not even just three times. I have been there many times. And I was going to continue to go there until I finally quieted down and listened to what God was saying. My relationship is between me and God. When the vertical is not working than neither can the horizontal (me and my husband).
"A newspaper on the West Coast ran this ad: "Wedding Rings for Annual Lease." I guess this company decided to capitalize on the growing market of those who enter into marriage with an escape clause.
This escape mentality is a deception straight from the Devil. You see, Satan knows if he can deceive us into breaking the covenant we made before God to love, honor, respect, and cherish our spouse, then he has a foothold to destroy our relationship with God,. That's because marriage is the physical representation of a beautiful spiritual truth: Christ is called our Bridegroom and the church His beloved bride. To distort our view of earthly marriage is to shake our relationship with God to it's core.
For As Long As We Both Shall Live - Chapter Twelve
Unfortunately, thanks to Hollywood, our generation has an unrealistic view of love. Romance in the movies isn't real life. Lovers on film don't have bad breath, flat tires, or nausea. Nor do they wait three hours in line at the DMV, cut grass, wash dishes, take out the garbage, or scrub toilets. People fantasize about relationships like the ones they see on TV.
Then Satan whispers in your ear, "Of course you don't have a romance like they have, but you could. All you have to do is find the right person. Right now you're stuck with the wrong guy."
So what's the answer? Stay committed to your husband and make it work. Don't even think about Plan B.
Everyone loves a good love story... "and they lived happily ever after"... If we could listen in on their conversation as they glided toward the sunset, we would be shocked to hear something like this:
"Honey this has been a glorious day. Now let's give this marriage our best effort for about three years. Then I'll start feeling taken for granted and act grumpy and mood."
"That sounds reasonable. Then after a few years of your unpredictable moodiness, I'll start spending more time at the office and maybe even start seeing another woman. You won't mind because by then you'll be disenchanted with me anyway. How's that?"
"I guess that's OK. Then I'll pour my whole life into the kids and have periods of depression."
Absurd as this sounds, it's exactly what happens time and time again.
Perhaps more wearing on a marriage than the inevitable storms of life are the desert routines, the mundaneness of every day, and the doldrums of ho-hum-ness. Some days you won't particularly like your husband. Those are the days you tire of his unpleasant habits and feel emotional blandness. The key word is "feel" You may feel despondency at time, but a marriage isn't based on feelings; it's based on commitment. And when you resolve to stay committed, many times the feelings will follow.
I love this part.
I married my husband because I loved him. Now I love my husband because I married him.
We have all said these words:
I, take you, to be my lawful wedded husband, to love, honor, and obey, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for as long as we both shall live.
We make that promise not only to our husband but also to God.
And so I leave you with that.
I am taking another little break with just my family. We are going to Ontario for a long weekend. Lots of fishing, relaxing, book reading and picture taking. I hope you open your heart to what the Lord has for you. Be blessed, Friend.