July 27, 1996
"and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh." Mark 10:8
Once upon a time in a faraway land, there was a tiny kingdom, peaceful, prosperous, and rich in romance and tradition. Here in a stately chateau, there lived a widowed gentleman and his little daughter, Cinderella. Although he was a kind and devoted father, and gave his beloved child every luxury and comfort, still he felt she needed a mother's care. And so he married again, choosing for his second wife a woman of good family with two daughters just Cinderella's age, by name, Anastasia and Drizella. It was upon the untimely death of this good man, however, that the stepmother's true nature was revealed. Cold, cruel, and bitterly jealous of Cinderella's charm and beauty, she was grimly determined to forward the interests of her own two awkward daughters. Thus, as time went by, the chateau fell into disrepair, for the family fortunes were squandered upon the vain and selfish stepsisters while Cinderella was abused, humiliated, and finally forced to become a servant in her own house. And yet, through it all, Cinderella remained ever gentle and kind, for with each dawn she found new hope that someday her dreams of happiness would come true.
There are many days we might feel like Cinderella, but not the good parts of this fairy tale, right?
I started reading the post from last year. Once Upon A Time. But I didn't get very far. I was reflecting on our marriage yesterday. The last year has been the toughest. These are the times when we need to pull out our marriage vows and really revisit the promises we are making to each other and to God.
OK, you might say that God didn't play a big part in your life then. Maybe you are saying that He doesn't play a big part in your life NOW. Oh believe me, He did and still does. Do you really think that the two of you chose each other? Do you really think the two of you are where you are because of each other?
(This seems to have become my time with the kitten. He is snuggled up on my lap, which makes it difficult for me to type. And I don't normally sit with my knees so closely together. LOL.)
I find it interesting that the title of last years post is "Once Upon A Time..." That is the beginning of a fairy tale. Well marriage is no fairy tale. There is no fairy godmother...only Father God.
(I had enough. Dash is back to the floor).
There is no castle...only dirty socks on the living room floor and in front of the hamper (sometimes in front of the washing machine).
There is no ball gown...only clothes that fit tightly because you just can't lose the last of the baby weight.
There are no mice...only children that eat you out of house and home and leave crumbs around the house so you might acquire mice some day.
There is no carriage...only an old car that rattles when it starts and only has a tape deck in it.
There is no prince "charming"...only bad breathe and gas.
OK, not just "ONLY". I am trying to make a point that life is not a fairy tale and if we enter in to marriage believing that it is, then we are going to be quickly disappointed. I googled fairy tales and you know what is missing? GOD. Cinderella and Charming marry and at the end they "lived happily ever after". WRONG.
The story ends with this lovely song that Charming and Cinderella sing/hum together. Click here to sing alone.
So this is love. So this is love. So this is what makes life divine. I'm all aglow..And now I know...And now I know...The key to all heaven is mine. My heart has wings. And I can fly...I'll touch every star in the sky. So this is the miracle that I've been dreaming of...So this is love.
The story should end with the wedding vows:
I, take you, to be my wedded wife/husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness
and a reminder that life is not what you see on the screen. So stick with it. Don't give up on each other, on the marriage. Love is worth fighting for!
I believe that I have the Happy Ending. I never wanted to marry anyone but the one I married. I love him. Not for what he does for us or doesn't do for us. I just love him. I married him because I love him. And I love him because I married him. No regrets. I would do it again and again.
Oh wait I did. (1998 and 2006).
The words "you get what you give" just have stuck in my mind over the last month. They ring true with just about everything we do. So my marriage advise for you today is:
If you are not getting what you give, then give more!