I want to pray for Amanda's math teacher. Oh, I just can't stand him. I think he is unreasonable. I think he is unfair. I think he shows a prejudice against my child. But Lord, I know that You have placed this person and this situation in my life to work out the sin in my heart. Show me how to love this person. Show me how to be more like You. May my attitude reflect the heart of Jesus. May my daughter's heart reflect the heart of Jesus. He may not know you Lord. We may be the only Jesus he will ever meet. Let us represent your grace and your mercy. In Jesus precious name. Amen.
Do not fret because of evildoers, Nor be envious of the workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, And wither as the green herb.
Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday.
Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret—it only causes harm. Psalm 37:1-8
My sweet friend had me read this last night when we got together. I was going to just DRINK my broken heart out. We chose Panera and had a yummy caramel drink. (If I drank anything harder I most likely wouldn't stop. So I choose not to).
We talked for a few hours. She is always so uplifting. Just seeing her makes my heart joyful. God is just so amazing with His timing. I have five more days of work remaining. It will be a very tough summer. It will require much diligence in the finance department. We have come to rely on this money for groceries and all of our extra spending. We recently received an order from Rohrbach Farm, so our freezer is packed with our meats. But I know that the Lord will provide. He always does.
This morning as I lay in bed, I feel weary. SEVEN years we have been fighting with the school district. SEVEN. I remember when Amanda was in first grade. I remember laying in bed crying. I remember saying that no one is going to fight for our daughter. That we are going to be her advocate. I remember saying those words. God reminded me of those words this morning. And we have been, me and God. I don't place my hope in a 504 Plan. I don't place my hope in a school district. And I certainly don't and never will place my hope in a teacher. Because if you place your hope in anything other than Jesus Christ, you will be disappointed time and time again.
I talked to the guidance counselor yesterday morning. He said he would follow-up with the teachers and review the previous 504 plans. When I got home and checked my email, there was one from her math teacher:
"My concern still remains that Amanda needs to work harder and take things more serious…especially in a class in which she struggles. Showing up for class unprepared without a calculator for this test is almost telling me that she wants to fail. We are more than willing to help Amanda but at some point Amanda must learn to help herself as well..."
I was fired up. I called the guidance counselor and talked to him again. After I hung up the phone, I thought "I like this guy". I am hopeful that this will be taken care of the way that God wants it taken care of. Not because I know these people love the Lord. But because my HOPE IS IN THE LORD. Amanda and I need to just continue to pray about this subject and truly pray for this math teacher. It continues to perplex me as to how people can think that children with handicaps will some day mature out of them. This is not something you out grow. This is something that you learn modifications for. I do it on a daily basis. But Amanda is only twelve. She will learn how to keep herself organized. It will most likely not look the same way as you and I would do it. But she will develop her own system. That is what WE TEACHERS DO. We teach.
This teacher does not have to love my kid. It's not in his contract. He does not even have to like my kid. Again, not in the contract. But he does have to TEACH MY KID. That is in his contract.
I ask that you continue to pray for us. Pray that we can truly reflect the heart of Jesus to this teacher who lacks patience and mercy for anyone who does not fit in to the "round hole" life he lives in.