Friday, October 15, 2010

Healing Begins

Click here to listen to today's song.

Each morning I send my friend a verse, a song and either a prayer or some encouraging words. Maryann is a new friend. God has placed her in my life in such a time as this. I am grateful. I don't know what I would do without her.

Some mornings. I know exactly what song to send because I have heard it the night before. I think...that's the one! This morning I woke at 3:44 with "Healing Begins" in my head. OK, I guess that's the one.

I started reading my Breaking Free. Then went back to bed and got up at 5:30 to finish what I started.

Last night was video night. At the end, our facilitator said that we need to express what we are in captivity to. I was really trying to figure this out. I wrote a few things down but once I was finished my homework, I knew. It's definitely Disappointment.

I just don't feel like I am good enough. I could be a better daughter. I could be a better sister. I could be a better mother and of course, now, I could be a better wife.

I cried, and cried, and cried out to the Lord this morning. I believe in God. I know that nothing is too hard for Him. I know He can restore my marriage.

I reviewed the benefits again:

1. To know God and believe Him
2. To glorify God
3. To find satisfaction in God
4. To experience God’s peace
5. To enjoy God’s presence

I begged God to break my chains. Then I decided to listen to the song that I...that He chose for today.

Here are the words:

So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

So let it fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now
We're here now, oh

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark


God knows me. And still loves me just the way I am. That is such a comfort. A relief. I don't have to walk on egg shells with God. I can be me. He knows the depth of my heart and loves me anyway. WOW.

Father God,
Thank you for the storms in our lives. You are our shelter. You are our shield. Please break the chains that we are in. Please soften our hearts and break them for what breaks Yours. There is no substitute for Your Word. Help me get in it and stay in it. We are who You say we are. Our truth plus Your Truth equals Freedom. Free us Lord. Free us!
In Jesus Name. Amen

God's truth > My truth.

"How great you are, O Sovereign LORD! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears."- 2 Samuel 7:22

2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you (and hubby) are going through such a difficult time! I pray that you are both strong enough and determined enough to do the work necessary to get through it.

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  2. Sending you love and hugs and knowing that I share so many of the same struggles you do. I too feel that I am not good enough in so many ways. At least we have love and that's the most important thing of all! Hope to see you soon.

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