Sunday, October 31, 2010

Open My Eyes, Lord

Click here to listen to a song that will instantly have me in tears. I love it so!

I want to fast forward my life. I want to skip all of the hurt that is happening right now. I want to get to the end. I want to get to the place where I see Jesus face to face. I pray these words as I sing the words to this song.

"Because I'll never hold the picture of the whole horizon in my view". I don't understand why children have to die, why my friend has to have ALS, why my parents have to suffer the unknown of the aneurysm, why I have to walk this road in my marriage...again.

Great are You, Lord. All for Your Glory Lord. Bring the rain. I want to know You more.

I open my journal and write LTM in large letters, then next to it "hooray". I love this place, I think. Then I ask God to help me not make it an idol. I need to love Him, not a place.

"People Matter to God" and "God's Word Changes Lives" are today's messages. Actually, I think it was "OPEN MY EYES, LORD", with sub-titles of the other two, to be exact.

Pastor Paul speaks words that only God could have given him. I clung to every word, trying to quickly write them down to share with you. God knows exactly what we need to hear. Everyone hears something different. I was focused on listening to the words that were meant for me and not the words that "so and so" should be hearing. "Oh this message is for her! And she didn't even have the nerve to come!" I do that. I have acknowledged this sin in my life several years ago. I still struggle with what Beth Moore would call LEGALISM. I will break free of this.

Did you know that God is always moving us from here to there? He says "I am making all things new." He isn't changing. He is the same today as He was yesterday as He will be tomorrow. But He moves us. We may move from pride to humility, from comfort to uncomfortable, insecurity to security.

Where is my "here"? It's idolatry and legalism. Legalism has so many aspects. My judgmental character and self-righteousness has been obvious. But just in the last week, it really has come to light that I make "time" and idol. It keeps popping it's ugly head up. I find myself saying to myself before I do anything "what time is it?" Even this morning, I wondered if I had time to vacuum the carpet so I could move the couch back for Daniel. I don't want to be late. Can't be late! It was only 8:30. I had plenty of time to be there by 9:15. I left at 9:05 and then saw "Lisa". I spoke with her for a little while and it was good. I wasn't looking at the clock. I finally arrived at LTM at 9:17 AND THAT'S OK, God said.

Did you know that Humans have a pattern of opposing God's plan and His messengers/message? Why do we resist the Holy Spirit? We can not manipulate God's spirit? Why do we try, then?

The first thing we need to do (yes, you too) is acknowledge your stronghold, your obstacle. Then you need to tell someone. You need to have accountability in your life. So did you hear what God has shed light on in my life? It is idolatry and legalism. HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE, PLEASE!

These are the three areas that Pastor Paul touched on in response to those things:

*How might you be resisting God's plan and His message?
* Who/What is stealing your attention away from God?
*Who/What are you allowing to block your view of God?

One member of the body said that he spent over 400 hours watching baseball. He confessed this and prayed, asked for accountability and didn't watch any last week at all. Is it t.v. for you? Figure out how long you watch t.v. then cut back. God doesn't ask you for all or nothing. If you watch five hours a week, cut it back to four and spend that free hour praying, journaling, reading (His word). God is OK with baby steps, you know.

DO YOU WANT TO SEE JESUS?

Father God, thank you for today message. Thank you for the exact songs that were picked out for my ears. Open my eyes, Lord. I pray that you shape the way that I thing. My view is blocked. Open my eyes. I ask you again, Lord. Change and undo me. Why do I resist You so? Empty my heart of anything that is not of You. Fill it up with the Holy Spirit. Transform me, conform me to a more Christ-like character. In Jesus Name, AMEN.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

What a day!

“ A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. ” Proverbs 17:17 NLT)

It's been a God-filled day, a day only God could orchestrate. I was at the grocery store at 7:06 this morning to get bread and fruit before I had to be at work for a pediatric first aid class. I pulled in the lot just when MY SONG came on the radio. Great, I'll miss it, I thought. But then I remembered how I make time an idol. I thought, "why can't I sit in the car and listen to this song? What will it do but slow me down for 3 or 4 minutes". So I sat and listened. I thought about my baptism and how my dear friend Cheryl read the words:

More than my next breath, More than life or death,
All I'm reaching for, I live my life to know You more.
I leave it all behind, You're all that satisfies.
To know You is to want to know You more.

Yes, I thought. Those are my words sung by Casting Crowns. I turned off the car, shopped and was home in time enough to not be rushed...and was still at Wee Care by 7:40 am. I sat in the car and prayed before I went in.

I want to do Your will.
Everything else I count as loss to know You more.
Help me be a blessing. Empty my heart and fill it with Your gentleness. Thank you for loving me when I am harsh. Thank you for never being harsh with me.


I came home to a hungry family who was vibrating to get out of the house. We went to Chick-fil-a for lunch and ran some errands. We finally ended up at the little strip mall near our house. The boys went one way and we stopped at Redners for some last minute party foods. (Amanda is having her first Halloween party. No, I am not happy but I am being a really good sport about all of these ghoulies hanging out in my house. There will be no pictures. Sorry to disappoint you.)

At check-outs I bought a $20 gift card at the last minute. As we walked by our favorite pizza place, The BallPark, I said to Amanda lets stop in. I knew SHE was in there. I asked the waitress who's bike was out front. She said "someone already paid for her meal". I asked, "is that her in the hat?". The waitress said yes.

Click here now.

Amanda and I went over to talk to HER. I asked if we could sit for a little bit. She said sure. I gave her the gift card. I introduced myself and Amanda. We sat and talked for close to an hour. Today is her birthday. She is 46, just four years older than me. She grew up in the same town as me. She went to the same schools as me and had the same teachers. She was very talkative. I let her talk and I listened. I did ask some questions. She has been without a home for five years. She is on welfare and they provide a phone to her. I gave her LTM's number and a contact name for our food bank.

Then I prayed for her. I held her hand. When I stood up, I hugged her.

Today my actions spoke louder than my words. God had his hand completely on every situation in the day. I am glad that I was obedient and overcame the fear and spoke to LISA.

"And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love." 2 John 1:6

Friday, October 29, 2010

Happy Harvest Day



Today was Harvest Day at work. The apples were so cute all dressed up. We had many super heros. I have grown to dislike Halloween over the years. There is nothing good about it. OK, maybe that's not fair. If there is something good about it, please let me know. Anyway, my co-worker reminded me of this analogy. I hope you enjoy it!

What's it like being a Christian?

"It's like being a pumpkin:
God picks you from the patch,
brings you in, and washes all the dirt
off that you may have gotten from the
other pumpkins. Then He cuts the top off
and scoops out all the yucky stuff.
He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed and despair.
Then He carves you a new smiling face
and puts His light inside of you to shine for
all the world to see."


The following I wrote last October. I love looking back and seeing where I am now. Or seeing where I still am. God has a way of taking us to a place, taking us around that place and then right back to where we were. However, I am breaking free! Journaling is very important to me. Do you keep a journal?

************************************************************************************

I wouldn't trade it for the world. Since 2001, life has been, well, not easy. Many people have not understood me. I've been criticized for my walk of faith. People who I never would have expected have hurt me deeply. But I wouldn't say that I've gone through all of this for nothing. I've learned how to dance in the rain. I've learned that I can be joyful when my heart is breaking in to a million pieces. I've learned that even when I am disappointed by my loved ones, I have hope. Jesus is my hope. I would have to say that in the last 14 months, I fell in love with my Jesus again.

When I first believed, I found myself thinking about Him all the time, wanting to please Him. This past year has been one of my toughest years. I discoved that through Jesus, I am strong. I am never strong in myself. Many times I have wondered why I lack self-confidence. Then I realized that, I don't even want it. I want the confidence that I find in Him.

I wondered why I am never happy. For the last nine months, I've tried to find peace in my life. Then Damaris said "Happy is something a child is. They are happy because of what's happening. You are to be joyful because His spirit lives inside you." I've noticed that people get so bothered by the weather, the traffic, their co-workers, the economy...I could go on. Those are all unpredictable things. If you are waiting and looking for something or someone to make you happy, well keep waiting and stop looking. He's right there and He is waiting on YOU.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share that with you. Many of you have known what's been going on with my marriage and my daughter. But I know that there are many who do not. I know that God has placed certain people in my life for a purpose. I am to learn and they are to learn from me. I am thankful for every good thing that has, is and will happen to me. However, I am very thankful for the things that have made me rely more on Jesus.

Be blessed and know that you bless others.

"The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense." Proverbs 27:9 NLT

Ten Tips for Intimacy with Jesus

My mentor shared this with me on Wednesday night. Since then I have shared it with others. Do you have a mentor? Find one. Actually, God will find the right one (or two in my case) for you. (He did for me).Just ask Him.

Value relationship: Recognize the importance of intimacy with Jesus every moment of the day.

Practice continuous communion: See the entire day as a running conversation with Jesus.

Invite His presence: Enter every conversation and meeting with a silent (or spoken) prayer.

Clear your conscience: Quickly deal with everything that is quenching or grieving the Holy Spirit.

Set daily appointments: Set a specific time for concentrated reading of the Word and prayer.

Embrace spontaneous conversations: If you wake up at an odd hour, or a thought or person comes to your mind, view it as Jesus' invitation for fellowship.

Cultivate true devotion: Approach devotional time as a conversation with Jesus, not a duty.

Journal: Record your thoughts during times of prayer, meditation, or Bible reading.

Exercise your soul: Take one day a month away with God. Get into nature with your Bible, and read whole books of the Bible in one sitting.

Focus through fasting: Practice regular fasting for the sole purpose of giving focused attention to Jesus.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Change Me, Lord

Click here to watch Beth Moore speak about our attitude. She said that sometimes we just won't be able to change our circumstances but we are able to change our attitude.

After watching this video at 5:30 am, I had a melt-down with my darling twelve year old. It's the same button pusher every morning. We can't get out the door. At the last minute, something is forgotten or lost or something something. So she went off to school with a lecture from my sharp tongue.

Several hours later, one of the darling apples was having a melt-down. I finally walked away and asked a co-worker what she would do. Any insight was welcomed because I was at a loss. Her response was that her sister would always say that if she couldn't change the situation she would say "Lord, change me!".

OK, it was confirmed that that was the message of the day. Don't you just love when God makes things so black and white?!

“Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” (Ephesians 4:29 NLT)

Monday, October 25, 2010

I'm Believing God

One month ago yesterday, my world was shattering around me. One month ago today, God restored it. When you are down to nothing, God is up to something. I never gave up hope. I feel closer and stronger in my faith than I ever have.

Click here to listen.

When I'm feeling all alone
With so far to go
The signs are no where on this road
Guiding me home
When the night is closing in
Is falling on my skin
Oh God will You come close?

Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me You are with me
I I I can't deny
No I can't deny that You are right here with me
You've opened my eyes
So I can see You all around me
Light light light up the sky
You light up the sky to show me
That You are with me

When stars are hiding in the clouds
I don't feel them shining
When I can't see You beyond my doubt
The silver lining
When I've almost reached the end
Like a flood You're rushing in
Your love is rushing in

So I run straight into Your arms
You're the bright and morning sun
To show Your love there's nothing You won't do

That You are with me
That You are with me

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Sunday, October 24, 2010

End of the Year Camping



It was 45 degrees this morning. We walked down to "The Point" to collect rocks that I will be using with the Apples.




I'm always looking for a great picture moment.




Friday night in to Saturday morning, the temperature dropped to the low 30's but we were prepared with warm sleeping bags, blankets and cots. The parents slept on the cots Friday night. Daniel wasn't feeling good last night, so he got a cot.







We sat around the camp fire. The children drank Stewards soda. The men cooked salmon, bratwurst, hotdogs, hamburgers and shrimp. Amanda is using a piece of a roll to get the last of the butter

Daniel was showing me his boating technique. It was nerve racking for me. It didn't matter that he was eight. He could have been ten, or twelve or sixteen. He was struggling and I was close to panicking. He "beached it" and Daddy showed him how to fight the current to get the boat on the trailer.



Hey look, it's me. I am actually in a couple of the pictures.







Our camp fire. It is enjoyable to sit around a camp fire in October. I think I like camping better in the cold weather. I brought the supplies for smores but we just ate the candy bars.


Thursday, October 21, 2010

Obstacles

"I desire to do your will, O my God, your law is within my heart."
Psalm 40:8


Breaking Free is beyond words. I wish you could take this with me. There is such a unique group of ladies in the class. There are about fifteen from every season of life.

Tonight we talked about the first three obstacles that keep us captives. There are five. (I have read all of them and have multiple to overcome).

1. The Obstacle of Unbelief
2. The Obstacle of Pride
3. The Obstacle of Idolatry
4. The Obstacle of Prayerlessness
5. The Obstacle of Legalism

Father God,
I do desire to do your will. I want to be free. Please help me move the obstacles in my life. Remove the idols of controlling...schedules and time constraints. Take away my feeling of disappointment. Help me to not judge people. This morning was humbling, actually humiliating. My realization of how "I" work so hard to maintain "MY" integrity. "I" would never cross professional lines. Words that I said this week. You so kindly reminded me I am nothing without you, Lord. You could have slapped me, knocked me to the ground, thrown cold water on my face to wake me up...but you didn't. You placed this study, this lesson in my life, this morning. Thank you, God, for loving me no matter what I do or say. Help me be obedient to your will. Help me keep your law in my heart. In Jesus name, AMEN.



Songs like this capture my heart. Comfort me.


I can't wait to really get in to the "meat" of the study. If this is chapter 3, what do you think is to come?! I look forward to it!

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. Psalm 130:5

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

W.O.W

Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.
~ John Wesley

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Night and Day



Amanda is a slow starter. Just about April, well, she starts picking up and really doing well. She is in to a routine and her grades are decent. She is one of those children who would benefit from going to school year round. In the last 6 years, this has been the pattern. But patterns are made to be broken!

English........ A
Art............ A
Music.......... A
Keybording......A
Science.........B

Way to go, Amanda!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Healing Begins

Click here to listen to today's song.

Each morning I send my friend a verse, a song and either a prayer or some encouraging words. Maryann is a new friend. God has placed her in my life in such a time as this. I am grateful. I don't know what I would do without her.

Some mornings. I know exactly what song to send because I have heard it the night before. I think...that's the one! This morning I woke at 3:44 with "Healing Begins" in my head. OK, I guess that's the one.

I started reading my Breaking Free. Then went back to bed and got up at 5:30 to finish what I started.

Last night was video night. At the end, our facilitator said that we need to express what we are in captivity to. I was really trying to figure this out. I wrote a few things down but once I was finished my homework, I knew. It's definitely Disappointment.

I just don't feel like I am good enough. I could be a better daughter. I could be a better sister. I could be a better mother and of course, now, I could be a better wife.

I cried, and cried, and cried out to the Lord this morning. I believe in God. I know that nothing is too hard for Him. I know He can restore my marriage.

I reviewed the benefits again:

1. To know God and believe Him
2. To glorify God
3. To find satisfaction in God
4. To experience God’s peace
5. To enjoy God’s presence

I begged God to break my chains. Then I decided to listen to the song that I...that He chose for today.

Here are the words:

So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

So let it fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now
We're here now, oh

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark


God knows me. And still loves me just the way I am. That is such a comfort. A relief. I don't have to walk on egg shells with God. I can be me. He knows the depth of my heart and loves me anyway. WOW.

Father God,
Thank you for the storms in our lives. You are our shelter. You are our shield. Please break the chains that we are in. Please soften our hearts and break them for what breaks Yours. There is no substitute for Your Word. Help me get in it and stay in it. We are who You say we are. Our truth plus Your Truth equals Freedom. Free us Lord. Free us!
In Jesus Name. Amen

God's truth > My truth.

"How great you are, O Sovereign LORD! There is no one like you, and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears."- 2 Samuel 7:22

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Pretty Cool, I think!



This photo was taken at Bulls Island State Park in NJ, at exactly 10:10 on 10/10/10.

Books

Book, books, books. I love books. They are something I collect. Illustrated books are my favorite. But I do have grown-up books.

I just finished reading "Shepherding a Child's Heart", by Tedd Tripp. It was wonderful. I highly recommend it. Some day I may post all the highlighted info that I learned. I wish I had read it when the children were going through those tough toddler years. But it will be very helpful in my classroom, since on an average day we have twelve three-year-old boys.

I have started "Crazy Love" and a book about fasting. I have a bag of Joyce Meyer books loaned to me by a co-worker. And I have "The Love Dare", of course. But this morning, when I went for the book about fasting, I realized it was in my car. And it is raining. So I started "Age of Opportunity" by Paul Tripp. I know I am going to love it.

"I noticed a couple sitting nearby. They looked very unhappy. I was curious, so I asked them if they had enjoyed the weekend. Everything had been great, they replied. I commented that they didn't look very happy. The women responded, "We have two teenagers and we are dreading going home. We wish this weekend would last forever!" "You just have to expect your teenager to be rebellious; all of us were," her husband added. "you just have to ride it out." "Besides," she moneyed, "you can't argue with hormones!"

I walked away impressed that something is fundamentally wrong with the way we thing about this time in a child's life. Something is inherently wrong with the cultural epidemic of fear and cynicism about our teenagers. Something is wrong when a parent's highest goal is survival. We need to take another look; Is this a biblical view of this period in a child's life? Does this view lead to biblical strategies of parenting and biblical hope?

We need to examine what is wrong with the cynicism about teenagers that is endemic in our culture.


Do you have a teenager? What is your highest goal? Is it survival? I'd love to know.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Layers of Me

A Meme from Multiple Mom dot word press dot com

Layer One

name: Born Theresa Mary Margaret (added Margaret as a Catholic)
birth date: March 7
birthplace: Pennsylvania
current location: Pennsylvania
eye color: blue
hair color: blonde (strawberry) with grey
height: 4'11" (I'm shrinking)
righty or lefty: right
zodiac sign: Pisces (one fish who doesn't like water)

Layer Two

your heritage: Irish (Dad) English ? (mom)
the shoes you wore today: sneakers
your weakness: cake
your fears: disappointing people
your perfect pizza: extra cheese and pepperoni

Layer Three

your most overused phrase: so many...settle down?
your first waking thoughts: what time is it?
your best physical feature: according to whom? My smile?
your favorite memory: "Will you marry me?"

Layer Four

pepsi or coke: Neither
mcdonald’s or burger king: McDonalds
single or group dates: definitely single with my Love
adidas or nike: Nike
lipton ice tea or nestea: Sweet Tea
cappuccino or coffee: Oh Cappuccino!

Layer Five

smoke: no
cuss: almost never
sing: All the time. All.The.Time. (multiple mom's answer but I love it)
do you think you’ve been in love: I am!
want to go to college: Again, Never! (Graduated in 1991)
liked high school: not really
want to get married: I've been married 3 times to the same man but I'd do it again!
believe in yourself: I am who God says I am.
get motion sickness: no
think you’re attractive: sometimes. Sometimes not so much.
think you’re a health freak: Again, sometimes.
get along with your parents: yes
like thunderstorms: Yes.
play an instrument: Ha ha, no!

Layer Six

in the past month…
drank alcohol: yes
smoked: no
done a drug: no
made out: yes
gone on a date: yes
gone to the mall: yes
eaten an entire box of oreos: never
eaten sushi: no.
been on stage: no
been dumped: no
gone skating: no
made homemade cookies: no
gone skinny dipping: no
dyed your hair: never
stolen anything: no

Layer Seven

ever…
played a game that required removal of clothing: no
if so, was it mixed company: I said no.
been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes
been caught “doing something”: uh, maybe
been called a tease: yes
gotten beaten up: no
shoplifted: yes
changed who you were to fit in: Yep

Layer Eight

age you hope to be married: I was 28
numbers and names of children: Amanda (12) Daniel (8)
describe your dream wedding: It happened. Married in a garden next to the "yellow breeches" and took photos in a gazebo. Partied with friends and family. It was perfect.
how do you want to die: in my sleep
where do you want to go to college: I went to Kutztown University in PA
what do you want to be when you grow up: Who says I have to grow up?
what country would you most like to visit: living in the USA is where I want to stay.

Layer Nine

number of people I could trust with my life: probably more than I would think
number of cds that I own: lost count, a lot, more than 20
number of piercings: ears...five holes
number of tattoos: Nope, never!
number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Not sure.
number of scars on my body: Again, not sure...and who really cares!?
number of things in my past that I regret: Too many to count but everything happens for a reason. God doesn't make mistakes. Everything is part of the refining process.

The Love Dare

Day 1 - Love is patient
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2

Day 2 - Love is kind
"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32

Day 3 - Love is not selfish
"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor." Romans 12:10

Day 4 - Love is thoughtful
"How precious also are Your thoughts to me...How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand." Psalm 139:17-18

Day 5 - Love is not rude
"He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him." Proverbs 27:14

Day 6 - Love is not irritable
"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city." Proverbs 16:32


Day 7 - Love believes the best
[Love] believes all things, hopes all things." 1 Corinthians 13:7


Day 8 - Love is not jealous
"Love is a strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire." Song of Solomon 8:6

Day 9 - Love makes good impressions
"Greet one another with a kiss of love." 1 Peter 5:14

Saturday, October 9, 2010

He ran to me

"Greet one another with a kiss of love" 1 Peter 5:14

Every morning, I say to Daniel "Say good morning first. Be the first to greet". It is something that I just do. I always greet first. I say always pretty confidently. It's unusual for someone to be beat me to greet me.


"Think back to the story Jesus told of the prodigal son. This young, rebellious man demanded his inheritance money and then wasted it on a foolish lifestyle. But soon his bad choices caught up with him, and he found himself eating scraps in a pigpen. Humbled and ashamed, he practiced his apologies and tried to think of the best way to go home and face his father. But the greeting he was expecting was not the one he received. "While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him" (Luke 15:20)
From The Love Dare; Day 9

Click Here to listen:

When God Ran - Phillips, Craig & Dean

When God Ran
Almighty God, the great I am
Immovable rock, omnipotent, powerful, awesome Lord
Victorious warrior, commanding King of Kings
Mighty conqueror, and the only time
the only time I ever saw Him run

Was when He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said My sons come home again
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said,
Son do you know I still love you?
He caught me by surprise when God ran

The day I left home I knew Id broken His heart
And I wondered then if things could ever be the same
Then one night I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road ahead I could see
It was the only time it was the only time I ever saw Him run

And then He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said My sons come home again
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said,
Son do you know I still love you?
He caught me by surprise as He brought me to my knees
When God ran I saw Him run to me

I was so ashamed, all alone and so far away
But now I know Hes been waiting for this day

I saw Him run to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said My sons come home again
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice I felt His love for me again

He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said My sons come home again
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said, Son, He called me Son
He said, Son do you know I still love you?
He ran to me and then I ran to Him
When God ran

Friday, October 8, 2010

Before the Throne

My life may appear to be perfect. But appearances are deceiving. On the inside, my life is chaos however in the middle of it, stands my perfect Jesus. I often pray for God to make me transparent. May I be the same on the inside that I am on the outside. Talking about tough situations, well, it's tough.

One thing is certain and easily stated. The closer I get to the Lord, the harder my life becomes. Some of you may know that I was baptized on September 19th. It was wonderful. However, Satan has waged a war in my life, specifically in my marriage. As to not dishonor my Love, I will share no details. Really, the details are not important any way. What I need you to know is that I am under attack. What I need you to do is PRAY. Pray for my marriage. Pray for restoration. Pray that I may be obedient and follow the LORD and honor my husband.

I am not keeping secrets from you. I just need to follow the Lord as He guides me. I am not pretending that everything is perfect. I am just not sharing a lot of it.

I have been reading and praying a lot. I have been listening to encouraging music. I have removed the distractions from my life, one big one being FB. And I've come before the Throne to humble myself.

Always - Building 429

Cause I believe always always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all faith is gone
God knows our pain and His promise remains
Always, Always

So, here it is: I am going through a storm. But I have faith that Jesus will calm my storm. And while I wait patiently, I will rejoice. I'll say it again. Rejoice!


Matthew 14:28-32

But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

29"Come," he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

32And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.


Jesus calmed them during the storm. The storm did not die down until after they were in the boat. I think that we wait for our storm to be over before we can be happy. But Jesus will bring the peace and joy in the storm. And all you have to do is have courage and faith...yeah, that's all.

Please don't worry about me. Worry won't fix this. Only God can fix this. I need your love, support and of course your prayers. The good news is that we are going to work on our marriage and for the first time let someone help us. Pray that God is choosing the perfect person to do so.

"For we walk by faith [we regulate our lives and conduct ourselves by our conviction or belief respecting man's relationship to God and divine things, with trust and holy fervor; thus we walk] not by sight or appearance." 1 Corinthians 5:7 (amplified)

Cry out to Jesus

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28


I am sitting here responding to emails. I have clicked "replay" about five times. Then when I finished the emails, I watched the video with lyrics. I honestly did not hear them. How can I be so unobservant?

Father God,
Show me the little things. Shine light on the details in my life that I have not noticed for so long, Lord. Continue holding my hand and guiding me in obedience. I cannot see the whole horizon but I am trusting You. In Jesus Name, AMEN.



Third Day - Cry out to Jesus

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

When your lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who suffers from being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight

even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. Psalm 139:10

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Breaking Free with Beth Moore

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush [a] and Seba in your stead.


Isaiah 43:2-3


Notice that the key word is WHEN not IF.


A Christian is held captive by anything that hinders the abundant and effective Spirit-filled life God planned for her.

Five Benefits to His children:

1. To know God and believe Him
2. To glorify God
3. To find satisfaction in God
4. To experience God’s peace
5. To enjoy God’s presence